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ADAM SANDLER >> Merchandise Links
ADAM SANDLER
"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." {Valedictorian:} "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." {Buffoon:} "This movie sucks shit!" {Valedictorian:} "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly." {Buffoon:} "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!" {Valedictorian:} "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?" {Buffoon:} "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin' head off." {Valedictorian:} "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process." {Buffoon:} "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head." {Valedictorian:} "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it." {Buffoon eating popcorn} {Buffoon:} "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it." {Buffoon continues to eat popcorn} {Valedictorian:} "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank." {Buffoon:} "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin' mind!" {Valedictorian:} "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis. {Buffoon:} "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!" {Valedictorian:} "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism." {Buffoon:} "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl." {Gets out of the car} {Valedictorian:} "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion." {Buffoon walking away} "I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue." {Buffoon:} "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!" {Valedictorian:} "Bye bye! Have fun." {Buffoon continues to walk away}
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